Friday, July 10, 2009

No Place Here For Her Kind

The anointing of Jesus by a sinful woman

from Mark 14, Luke 7, and John 12

I've done a lot of bad things.

Last night I had a hard time being that dark, humid room. Their breaths on me, made me nauseous. Their sweaty palms left me feeling dirty. Their heavy bodies made me feel burdened, even after they were gone. When I lay there, I try to think of other things-- things that will help relieve the pain, and the loneliness.

I've done a lot of bad things.

There have been whispers of a man. Not sure his name. They say he does something spectacular. But can it really be?! Well, I can't afford not to believe.

I've done a lot of bad things.

Tomorrow night I hear he'll be in town. But I won't even be able to get close to him--you know, since he'll be in that house. I see the way they look at me. They know who I am, and I know who they are… but somehow, I need to at least see him. The thought of seeing him makes me feel nervous. If I could speak to him, what would I say?

I've done a lot of bad things.

Would he brush me off? Would he be disgusted at me? Would he signal them to take me away? Or, would he be delighted to see me? I don't think I've ever had anyone look at me and be delighted to see me, when I have nothing, to offer them.

He'll know I've done a lot of bad things.

But if it’s true what people have been saying about him, I need to talk to him and ask...ask, for help. I don't want to be lonely anymore. I don't want to be dirty anymore. I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to feel far from I AM anymore.

I AM will take away the bad things.

I've never had the guts to break the alabaster. What can be more special than this? I won't even use that perfume on myself-- I am not worthy. But he is.

- F.T

1 comment:

  1. Joleen,

    This helped me get inside the woman's mind. Thanks for the edifying story!




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